My cousin is gone and the apartment feels empty.
I know Sirs right and I will eventually have that 5 minute good cry. I think keeping so many people around me has just been a good distraction method.
Brunch was a great success. My mother only pissed me off once.It was funny to have my best vanilla, vanilla kinky and just totally kinky friends together with my family to see how this very diverse group got along.Two tables of 10. There was nothing but laughter.
A smaller group of us strolled down the block for one more drink before parting.
There were 4 memorable moments.
My goddaughter coming in to say happy birthday.
Getting to talk to fet girl about the widow.
Little r almost getting bitch slapped by C. C sat down and had a scarf on (not unusual) and little R screams “Is that a hickey?” Well it was….C didn’t jump over the table at her, instead she later told me she mentally said she’s the young one and shhhed her.
Last…..N got to meet the entire cast of characters in one sitting. She put names and faces to all of the stories I’ve been telling her for almost a year. She got the biggest kick out of it and was happy how well she fit in.
Today is mom’s birthday. The only time I almost cried yesterday was when I was on fb and saw the yearly memorial picture for my stepfather. Two years now he’s been gone. The hurt I feel less often, but I don’t feel his loss any less.
Today I’ll make it about her, since I know yesterday neither of us mentioned him, but both of us thought of him. It will be a day just as full as the last 5. First heading to the gym and later a couple of friends coming over for wine in yoga pants.
I really miss Sir. I know this was a time I had to be without him, not that he’s not always there by phone or email. I have a feeling tonight I’ll feel his absence the most. When things get calm and quiet and it just me and my toothless little old dogs.